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I could almost see the wheels turning. I wondered what he was thinking, but knew better than to ask. I stayed quiet.Finally he appeared to come to a decision; I was suddenly terrified. 'What if he says no? What if he doesn't want to have sex with me? Oh God, I should never have brought this up, ' I thought. 'Too late. I'm so stupid. He's going to say no... '"Okay, Sarah. This time you win."I blinked. I had convinced myself so strongly in mere moments that he would say no that it took several seconds for me to process what I had heard. He took advantage of my pause to add a condition."But we do this my way." What does that mean?" If we are going to do this, if I'm going to trust you on this, we do it my way. I'm not going to have you stripping out of your clothes right here and now, and just 'doing it'. We're going to do it right."He stared into my eyes, daring me to object. I looked at his face, the set of his mouth, and knew there was no point in arguing. I wanted to just get it. It is all innocent and fun and free. And it was another of my triggers for remembering my darkest incident of my life.I can feel the tears start to form. Here I am. A man of 53 years. Brought to tears by a simple song.There were many tears in our lives that year.Sure, I can write about the neighborhood. The boys and girls running around and playing until dark was coming. Carefree and no worries about strangers lurking in the shadows. They were there. They just hadn't visited our lives yet.No, I will write about the night my mom was done. She packed all of us kids up. Put us into the car. We were leaving. The sins of the father had pushed her to her breaking point. She was leaving him there in that big, 4 bedroom house, and taking us to go live with her parents.My sister has the clearest memories of this. I do not remember it at all. I know later, once school was done, we would move down to Allentown, Pennsylvania, to live with mom's sister and her husband and family. My aunt and.
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