Of course I took the matter to hand, often more than once per day, but it was just not the same. I was so horny that I was actually noticing my own mother I realized with dark comedy.Mom yawned extravagantly and mumbled, "I think I'll head back to bed at the next commercial."That is probably a good thing, as I was feeling a little weirded out from this closeness with my own mom.The inevitable happened, of course. The minutes passed and I did not notice it until it became uncomfortable in its forced position facing downward into the top of the couch, trapped as it was.You see, my dick was getting hard - growing slowly but steadily in my pyjamas bottoms. I closed my eyes and prayed for it to go down - knowing mom had to notice it against her round soft bottom. The thought that mom would catch me with a hard-on pressing against her horrified and humiliated me. Talk about being weirded out!My own ass was pressed right against the back of the couch and mom's rear against my front - there. Through the good graces of one of our friends here a backup system has been put in place so if/when my mind slips off the rails my family will receive a copy of this as a legacy. I want them to see this, just not now there’s already too much turmoil and pain in our lives.I want to thank all the wonderful people who have opened up and shared their hearts with me. You have encouraged me as I hope I have been able to encourage you. It’s good to know that I’m not alone in my suffering.We’re going to be going to several areas today, some dark and some not so dark. As I said in the Night of Hell post I no longer believe much of anything religiously. I had a conversation with a friend that turned me on my ear. As I had stated in NOH I was extremely enraged at the Christian god for ignoring me. When I say enraged I mean the Hulk on a rampage would be considered slightly ticked in comparison. My friend who has walked through this entire mess with me said to me: “I know why God’s ignoring.
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