Aunt Mary said that we should go downstairs but pointed out that she might want to practice again one day.I couldn’t get to sleep very easily that night thinking about what I had seen and done and masturbated several times. So many things and visions going through my head.Days went by, weeks and months in fact and it was just like nothing had happened, we never spoke of our hairdressing session and Aunt Mary showed no more intimacy towards me than she had before. I kind of figured that our brief moment of pleasure we had together would remain our one and only one.Then one weekend about 7 months later Aunt Mary and me were alone in the house; I hadn’t even considered that we were the only ones there but she apparently had. I was downstairs doing what I do best which is absolutely nothing; she was upstairs in her room.It was quiet in the house so I had no trouble hearing her when she called down to me asking if we could try some more hairdressing. I said “OK” and when she moved away. Which is related to our specific relationship.”“I hadn't thought about it.”“Never?”“Not really. I have time.”“I don't. I'm 36. I've been avoiding the conversation I need to have with myself.”“What are you thinking now?”“I'm not sure how to answer that.” My hands shook. “Let’s start with you, then. Do you want to have children?”“Yes,” Jacob answered immediately. “Do you want to have children?”I paused. “I don't know.”Jacob looked stricken.“That's not a ‘No, but I don't want to say no.’ It's not a “Yes, with complications.’ I am truly conflicted about this decision in a way I haven't considered before.”“What brought this on?”“The new year. This past year.”“What happened this past year?” Jacob asked.“You.” I fought the tears burning my eyes. “I want to go into January with a definite plan. So I have to figure this out by midnight.”“What am I supposed to do? Sit here and wait for you do decide if you are breaking up with me?”“I didn't say that.”“But that's what this is, right?” he.
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