„What I have become! A slut! It was so exciting to get out of the car at the main square of the town, but now I felt ashamed. Why?“She remembered one case after football training, when one boy completely accidentally entered to the girl’s dressing room. The boy quickly realized his mistake and after some seconds jumped out from the door. Then one girl started to cry. She was absolutely shocked, because she was very near to boy and without bra in that moment and she didn’t reach to cover herself. Kadri tried then to comfort a crying girl and said to her: „Don’t cry, it was not as terrible.“ Then girl turned her head towards Kadri and very angrily shouted: „Don’t say it, I am completely ashamed. Boy is looking to naked girl and you say, this is not a big deal!? Are you out of mind!“ Kadri didn’t know what to reply. She realized, that if she has been naked in front of several boys and enjoying it, then some other girls felt guilty for that, even this was not their fault.Now Kadri felt. Well she didn't need to think about that. She needed to get on with her life, her life without Michael. With that act she lost the only man she ever loved. No, that wasn't right, she thought. It wasn't the suicide that drove Michael away, but her affair with Greg Moline. It wasn't really an affair. Greg just fucked her, an in exchange she got drugs and the degradation she seemed to crave.She stopped pacing and sat in one of the leather wingback chairs and stared at the deep blue water, the sun glinting on the almost flat surface. The ship was now almost to the Bridge. She shook her head slowly. The affair wasn't what drove Michael away; it was just the final act that drove a stake through the heart of their marriage.She and Doctor Willits had been through this several times. Sarah's drug and alcohol abuse, and her refusal to listen to Michael and her children, had turned Sarah into a person she didn't recognize. Instead of the smiling and happy mother, wife, and paralegal at a top.
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