Chorus of passengers Hey, you forgot the beer!Lufhansa Pilot to co-pilot, forgetting that the frequency was open: We used to come up the Thames, and turn over here for the docksVoice on frequency: ACHTUNG SPITFEURTower Controller: BA356, proceed to stand 69BA: Yes, Sir, Nose in or Nose out?Pilot: DAMN! That was closeIAD Tower: Delta 560, what seems to be the problem?Pilot (catching his breath), Near miss- was he ever close!IAD Tower: Delta 560, how close was it?Pilot: Well, I can tell you one thing, it was a white boy flying it.From an unknown aircraft waiting in a very long takeoff queue: I’m fucking bored! Ground Traffic Control: Last aircraft transmitting, identify yourself immediately! Unknown aircraft:I said I was fucking bored, not fucking stupid!A military pilot called for a priority landing because his single-engine jet fighter was running a bit peaked. Air Traffic Control told the fighter pilot that he was number two, behind a B-52 that had one engine shut down. Ah, the. Good, one legitimate birth recorded. I then stole the resultant original birth certificate, which was issued and placed in the distribution stack, to go back to the proud parents.I moved forward in time to when my new persona would be about sixteen years old, and hired a kid to go into the local social security office, and apply for a social security number. I took pains to make sure he understood what he was to say, gave him my newly made birth certificate. I went in with him from the 'between', and watched over him. Mission accomplished.I had rented an apartment, just so he could give an address to which the social security people would mail my card. They issued a card on the spot, though. I kept the apartment anyway, being sure to put an item into the NTZ from it. It would be a good place to hide if I ever needed one. It was listed under a fake name. Money has a way of greasing the way through a lot of useless paperwork. Ergo, no background check or any pesky snooping was done..
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