” I said.“Ditto. The other night you almost shot ‘Little Paul’ across the bedroom.” Blossom added.“I did not!” Erin said defensively.“You did, Erin. I was lying at your feet and it shot past my head like a mortar shell.”“I do not fart that bad!” Erin protested.“It’s not about good or bad. It’s more about the force.” I piled on.“Hey! You guys are being mean.” Lynn defended her wife.“Sorry Sweetie. Hey! How did we get from Erin being pissed about Lynn, to dealing with her farts?” Blossom asked.“Yeah how did we do that?” Erin asked, before she walked over to Lynn and pulled her into her arms.“Please don’t be angry with me. And remember, you saved the rest of our girls’ lives and to me that puts you up twelve to one. I love you.” Erin sobbed as she spoke to her long time lover.“OK you two, we still have more family business to take care of.” I said.Erin sat on a chair and pulled Lynn onto her lap, Lynn laid her head against her wife’s shoulder and let out a soft sigh as she began to trace. . $2.50Access to support... $1.00I finally got my head together, now my body is falling apart.Defendant: Judge, I want you to appoint me another lawyer.Judge: And why is that?Defendant: Because the Public Defender isn’t interested in my case.Judge (to Public Defender): Do you have any comments on the defendant’s motion?Public Defender: I’m sorry, Your Honor. I wasn’t listening.What does an atheist say when she’s having an orgasm?“Darwin! Oh, Darwin!”MIND GAMES FOR DOGS TO PLAY WITH HUMANSAfter your humans gives you a bath, don’t let them towel you dry! Instead, run to their bed, jump up and dry yourself on the sheets. This is especially good if it’s right before your human’s bedtime.Act like a convicted criminal. When your humans come home, put your ears back, with tail between your legs and chin down, and act as if you have done something really bad. Then, watch as the humans frantically search the house for the damage they think you have caused. Note: This works best when you have.
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