He sent his maid to fetch the sexton. I could sign my new will, leaving everything to my wife, with provisions for my mistresses and all the illegitimate c***dren. Sumitra was still in a state of shock, twisting her wedding ring on her finger to check it was real.I had another request for the Vicar that caused him some consternation. I wanted all my illegitimate c***dren to be baptised. I handed him a list of all of them with their dates of birth, the appropriate mother’s name, and my name as father for all of them. Officially recognising them in the Parish Register would give each of them some claim on my estate.Baptisms should be conducted with the Church’s congregation present. If that was to be done on a Sunday the length of the baptisms would be difficult. We compromised. They would be baptised at a suitable Wednesday morning service. I told Sumitra to arrange for all the mothers and c***dren to attend.Once the Vicar had got over his shock I could see that he was calculating how. 1. In the first book of the bible, guinessis. God got tired of creating the world so he took the sabbath off.2. Adam and eve were created from an apple tree. Noah’s wife was joan of ark. Noah built and ark and the animals came on in pears.3. Lots wife was a pillar of salt during the day, but a ball of fire during the night.4. The jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with unsympathetic genitals. 5. Sampson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a jezebel like delilah.6. Samson slayed the philistines with the axe of the apostles.7. Moses led the jews to the redsea where they made unleavened bread, which is bread without any ingredients.8. The egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards, moses went up to mount cyanide to get the ten commandments.9. The first commandment was when eve told adam to eat the apple.10. The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.11. Moses died before he ever reached canada then joshua led the hebrews.
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