I smiled and proudly said it. "It fit just fine, it didn't hurt at all, I came four times, and if there were a Richter Scale of intensity, this would've been off it." The class applauded, to my embarrassment. And if it were possible to blush and beam at the same time, Jared would've been doing it."I giggled and laughed through most of it," I admitted. Most of the class, and Ms. T, looked at me in astonishment. "Really. Jared, tell them what you said when we were done."Jared smiled and told them. "I said that nobody ever told me about the joy. In all the talk about sex I'd ever heard, nobody told me about the joy." That's because it's rare," Ms. T said. "Now, Jared, what were your hopes?" Well, as Amanda told you, this came as something of a surprise for me, so I didn't have all that much time to think about it. I guess my biggest hope was not to fuck up!" Everyone laughed at that. "And I so desperately didn't want to hurt her. I was really concerned about that. I knew she was a. I'm going to HAVE to let go. I hope it's okay. I'm not going to be able to control myself. Not for every moment. I am going to need direction. He'll take care of me. He said he would. I should warn him. It's too embarrassing. I'm going to be naked before him. God. That's embarrassing enough just by itself. I hope he doesn't hate me. Maybe he'll think I'm too weird. Or too out of control. Or too uptight.God, I have to let go. I have to let him do what he wants. He has my checklist. He said he was planning ahead. He knows what I THINK I want. And he has his own ideas. He promised he wouldn't be rough. He could probably be a little rough. As... as long as he starts gently. As long as he's conscious of my needs. As long as he's in control of the tempo and doesn't rush me.I don't know... I just don't know how much I can take... how much I can handle. God. I need a safe word... and I need a promise from him to honour it... I need... I need... Elaine's eyes sprang open when she realised what.
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