They were always beautiful, andnearly always malicious and destructive. They came in every conceivable shapeand size. And some—he remembered now—some fed on flowers. "Ohhh,Jeez Louise," he said to himself. "Flower fairy infestation! WhatI do now?" He waited for what seemed like an hour, then crept out of the greenhouseto one of his toolsheds. Inside he found what might do the trick: a tank ofpatented Acme Bug-Blast, with a special high power nozzle. "Ohhhhhh," hesaid. "Fly-babe gonna snuff it now!" He strapped the tank to hisback and headed out to where he'd last seen the mischievous little pixies. Having destroyed the tulips, they'd found the peonies, and were happily munchingaway. "I think they're better over here; they get more sunlight," hecould hear Bambi say. Then she turned and saw him. He was almost certain thatshe rolled her eyes as she said: "Not you again!" "Chew on this, girly-fly!" said Tatsu, pointing the nozzle at herand releasing it. A full blast of the insecticide. It was certainly possible.She dropped to the couch, then pushed up and made for the kitchen for a beer. Charlee’s two empties sat on the counter; she grabbed one in each hand to avoid the clink of glass, placed them one at a time in the recycle bin, and got a Heineken from the fridge. Leaning against the cold door, breaking herself out in goose-flesh, she spun off the lid and took a sip.For the sexual animal you are, she thought moodily, you are such a glass cat. She’d thought to lose her virginity to Tyler Crowe in fifth grade. In 6th grade, she’d been alone with boys after school, in the woods, in basements and bedrooms and family rooms, living rooms and dens, and once even in Stanley Smallwood’s parents bedroom. Yet 7th grade found her starting the school year yet a virgin, breasts un-bared, vagina untouched, rear end never cuddled in lust. Her first oral sex was six years away, in Liverpool, England.She’d finally relinquished her virginity at age 29, to her husband, Charlotte.
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