We hit each other head tohead. I felt my spine shiver and collapsed face down on the groundunable to move. Everyone gathered round and rolled me over. I could seeand hear. I think I could breathe, but I couldn't move my arms or legs,and I couldn't talk. I heard my dad toss it off as "he's just got thewind knocked out of him; he'll be okay," and had somebody lift my waistup and down. It only lasted a few seconds, but for those few seconds Iwas really scared. All I could think was I'm your son how could you dothis to me. And then everything came back to normal. From then on,however, I was always afraid of being hurt no matter what I did. I guessthat's why I never seemed aggressive enough for him and why he keptyelling "what's the matter with you; what are you afraid of?".Eventually I started hiding from him. I just wouldn't be around where hewas. When he and mom wanted to go somewhere I would always choose tostay home if I could. And of course, I stopped talking to him. Why wouldI not,. Once she realised that I was genuinely absorbed by what I saw, she relaxed. It would be wrong to say she thawed for she was never unfriendly. She was just less guarded and more inclined to expound, rather than just limiting her answers to simple factual replies. We must have spent over two hours in that studio. Suddenly she noticed the time and became flustered. It was nearly Five O’clock by then and full dark outside. To tell the truth I wasn’t relishing the walk home through the strengthening gale and the rain that set in at some point during the afternoon. As a result, I’d probably spun things out a bit. What was clear, however, was that I had suddenly out-stayed my welcome. I put on my coat and made my farewells. She recovered enough composure to see me to the door with a smile. She even agreed to accept my invitation to lunch the following day. I had a vague uneasy feeling that she had accepted too readily. We agreed to meet at the local Inn at 12.30 and I left. Her relief was.
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