And what made it even worse for me was that the last man inside me, the last man to have my body wasn't even my husband! It was Hugo! The man that I let destroy my marriage and send the man I love to prison! Hugo! Even now, that thought makes me sick. Sick at heart as well as sick to my stomach. When the memory surfaces, as it does on those days when the world seems to have it in for me, I end up on the floor in the bathroom, still wet from the shower that never seems to make me feel clean. And regardless of what they say, time hasn't made it any less. It is still as vivid in my memory as the day it happened. And I hate it! I pray that I can forget it, but so far my prayers haven't been answered.Enough! It was done and it was over. Stop wishing and saying sorry over and over. It doesn't help anything! And stop waiting for fate to come along and punish you so it can then forgive you! God doesn't punish the guilty and reward the innocent! That was for stories and books. In the real. The mournful song has drifted through the old walls of my bedroom six nights in a row. If I hear it tonight, my fate will be sealed.He's coming for me — my Bryden, my love, my loss. It won't be long now. The sound of his voice once set my legs to quivering and my heart to pounding. If only I could hear that voice again.I sit on my bed and wait. Will the whippoorwill sing again? Will he call me to Bryden's side? The bird conjures memories, a sound we often heard as we lay hidden in our stolen bliss. In those purloined hours, the darkest of night just before the waking of dawn, we clung to each other, making promises that lovers make, clinging to one another as if we would never let go.How long has he been gone? How many years has it been?I drifted through those years alone, watching without seeing, as the world swirled around me. My home, living with my parents, had been perched atop a solitary hill, miles from nowhere, when I had known my Bryden. The world has enveloped it now,.
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