Leaning over, I started to kiss her and tease my tongue into her mouth, lost in the depths of my fantasy come true.Unfortunately, half a minute later she started to stir and come around, still seriously drunk and out of her mind, but nonetheless conscious. Oh bugger. That wasn't in the plan... oh well. She'll be fully conscious shortly, I can damn well guarantee that at least.I savoured this moment for a second, then started pushing until my head popped inside. Damn that was rough! It almost hurt! "Oh god... tight!" I breathed out. Another push, another inch vanished."Nnnn... wha... Hey! What... Get off! Steve? Stop... That HURTS please oh GOD NO!"I lost control. I covered her mouth with my own to silence her, and started to kiss her deeply again. In her drunken and confused state she readily responded in turn.I pulled out, then spasmed my buttocks in a forceful thrust, burying myself inside her almost dry snatch - a slight resistance, then a glorious feeling of possession.She muffled. Yeah. I am absolutely and verily enjoying and taking pleasure in this.To be honest with you—on the other hand—at times I do wish that I am dead. Every inch and consummately dead. Dead like those two boys, Cooper and Vaughn, whose deaths I am responsible for. I didn't mean to do it. I just did it unwillingly and forcedly. That is what always happens when I break the rules. That is how things always end up whenever I become a little bit stupid and stubborn and yielding and careless. Awful and dire.Cooper died on Valentine's Day two years ago. He died before my very own eyes and those of everyone a round, helpless and remediless. His death was so galling and frightful.Vaughn died in his car, having driven me home from the party that we had just attended. He gave up the ghost right in his seat, with I myself keeping a hand on his once-warm-but-now-suddenly-cold-cheek, and it was after we had kissed vehemently and intensely.In all my life, it is these two boys whom I have ever dated and.
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