Solidfoundations on which they can build themselves.Suddenly I didn't feel like I was a solid foundation. Could I becomeone? Was I about to give Richard the choice of building on sand, orbuilding on nothing at all?"Richard, I am your dad, Michael."He looked at me in surprise. Then wonder. "Really?" He asked. I couldhear the curiosity in his voice."Really, I am." Wow." He mouthed it again and looked me up and down. "You're Michael?"And that was it. With one negligent, na?ve, flippant question I hadbeen removed from the role of father and relegated to the role ofacquaintance."Yes, Richard, it's me." Really? You're a woman now?" I've been made to look like a woman." Are you gay?" Gay?" Yeah, do you prefer men?"This really wasn't what I expected. "No, Richard, I do not prefer men.I love your mother. I didn't ask for this to happen." I was getting alittle frustrated, I have to admit."Are you coming back here then? To stay with mum?"How can children ask such simple, direct questions. How is the cat, is the tap still dripping, did theneighbour cut their lawn, what did she listen to on the way to work,what did she have for lunch?"I miss you. I love you, I love you, I love you."She laughs. I can imagine her with her head thrown back, mouth spreadwide, shoulders shaking, breasts bouncing as she chuckles. "When did youget so needy, Tabs?" When I'm two hundred miles from you, Lo." Have you unpacked yet?" she asks."No time, the traffic. I didn't even have chance for a shower." Go then, go and unpack, have a shower, go to bed and think of me." I always think of you."While I am so immersed in our nonsense, Colin Jameson As has vanishedinside. Tony comes out, smiles to see me still on the phone (to themissus) and mimes bedtime. I wave good night. Perhaps my old body ishaving a drink in the bar, should I go and look? I need Chloe's sunshinemore.When the goodbyes are done, when she has told me how much she loves me,with such intensity my breath catches and my nipples grow.
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