I probably shouldn’t be dreading it—I should be happy for my boyfriend; he’d worked hard at this, had worked crazy hours in his residency to save small lives, but still, I couldn’t help being scared. The closer we came to his graduation, the closer we came to his fellowship, which he would find out about any day now. Would he go to Maryland? Would he stay here in Orange County? Or would he end up somewhere else entirely? I wasn’t sure and it scared the fuck out of me.Janie, Wes’s seventeen-year-old sister, picked up on my mood when I went shopping with her and her mom, Elena. We’d made a day of it, hitting the Citadel Outlets to buy our summer clothes. It was going to be hot this summer, and Janie wanted strappy designer sandals and spaghetti-strap camisoles that her mother absolutely refused to buy her. We settled on one-inch strap tank tops, and to sweeten the deal, Elena let her pick them from places like Calvin Klein and Banana Republic, two of Janie’s favorite stores. We stopped. I actually listened in my classes again. I don’t know how much I maintained but I listened. When the bell rang dismissing us for lunch I saw Elizabeth waiting for me and we headed toward the cafeteria. On the way there she asked me if we were going to group that night and I told her yes we could. She wanted to go so we agreed to go. Just before we got to the cafeteria I saw another one of the copies of the picture of me with the cock in my mouth hanging on a school bulletin board. I hurried over to the board and jerked the copy down. I tore it into lots of little pieces and threw it in the trash. Elizabeth put her arm around me and hugged me close. With me aggravated we went the rest of the way to the cafeteria and got our food. I’m not sure why but at the lunch table with the varsity cheerleaders Elizabeth asked me twice if I was okay. I nodded and said, “No worries.” After lunch we headed back to class. My afternoon classes were no different then my morning classes.
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