..She inspected them with her fingers, one by one she thoroughly felt theirshape and size with her fingertips. It felt really, really, weird havingmy mom holding my flacid penis and massaging my testicles.M: Sweetie, we will have to confirm with a specialist, but I think it'ssafe to say that your testicles have indeed atrophied. They are way tosmall for you age, about the size they were when you had the accident.Other than that, you seem OK.Noticing my worried face she also said.M: It's a good thing, it will make your hormone therapy easier and lessintrusive. You probably won't need testosterone blockers.N: Oh! Ok...M: You can pull up your panties now.She let go of my genitals, stood up and grabbed the syringe. Meanwhile Ibegan tucking my penis back in, before pulling up my panties. I pushed mytesticles back inside me, then I pulled my penis back and finally liftedthe thong all the way up. Mom was staring at me in awe.M: I see you?ve gotten used to doing that.N: I guess... I don't. Every year, the ever dwindling numbers of ex-service men, filed along the Mall, a proud march, to lay wreaths of poppies at the Cenotaph and pay their respects. Each had a story of the last world war, holding memories of fallen comrades and friends; Small and large victories; amusing anecdotes and tales to enthral young children, or bore the elder, young men. Not all of the war had been about blood and guts, mud, hard rations or killing the Germans and the Japanese. Some of it had lighter moments, but not much.Every year he stood apart away from the massed crowds and watched. He watched alone, and then left when it was done. Back to his little flat in Chelsea, back to his loneliness and the memories of his lost love, dead these past forty-nine years, dead and saved from the possibility of execution, dead by his own hand. Each year, the pangs of loss were more acute and all he had left was to wait, wait until they were reunited in death. He would not hurry the event. Not that he was.
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