..........................."Aim, we need to talk," I said to Her one evening when the kids were in bedand we were trying to find something to watch." About?" I love you," I said with a nervous smile."mhmmmm, where is this going?" she said looking slightly alarmed."I think W/we could both agree we get along great, but there is zero sexlife," I said."Yes, I mean it's fine," she said with a shrug."Look, I know I'm bad and that is the reason I show no interest. But also,I just want more than anything to be your sissy." I stammered."I know that," she replied."Yes, but I'm afraid I'm going to do something stupid and I don't want too.I'm begging you to try this out, just see if You like it." But, I'm not dominant. I don't know what you want me to do. I'm not amean person." I know, I know, and I'm not asking You too." Then, what do you want?" I don't know, it's hard to say." Do you want to be a woman." No, no. I just want to be a sissy every day." But what does that mean, how do you want. " I would always try to honor your confidence. However, if I find that you're behaving destructively, I might have to deal with it personally. I still have my former husband's fraternity paddle. I have used it before and know just how to do it." You would paddle me?" Smartly, right on your pretty butt. You don't want me to do that."As I went upstairs that first night without Charles, I had this drained feeling inside — way inside. I had a glass of wine and reflected on the day. You're now a surrogate mom and a war widow. How's that for a day? I had to sleep and be ready for work in the morning. As I relaxed trying to get to sleep, I tried to picture him sitting in the plane well out over the Atlantic. I felt empty inside and I was alone in bed. How quickly you've depended on having his arms around you in the night. The sound of the alarm was brutal and I was shocked to realize that I hadn't made the coffee last night. I had to do everything for myself.BradfordAs we gained altitude, LT.
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