Oh it’s lovely Rick,’ Augustine cooed. ‘Come over here for a kiss and put it around my neck.’ It was a silver necklace, the letter ‘A’ on a fine chain. ‘It’s beautiful and I guess rather expensive. You are a naughty boy.’ He beamed. Their mains, steak and lightly grilled chicken arrived. Leaning forward and whispering, Augustine said, ‘I invited you here today to mark my investment passing a new benchmark but also to ask you something. ‘Will you seduce me sometime during summer?’ ‘What!’ ‘Shhh, Keep your voice down. I’ve turned eighteen. Did I ever tell you I was born in August and that’s why I was named Augustine by popular vote apparently?’ ‘What?’ ‘It doesn’t matter. Please answer me.’ Rick whispered fiercely, ‘No, I’m too old for you and besides I’m married.’ ‘It will be with my consent. You are only making a fuss because you didn’t come up with the idea.’ ‘Exactly what do you mean by seduce?’ ‘To fuck me dummy. Jesus what are friends for Rick?’ ‘Augustine, keep you whispers. She so wants me.) Oh my god I’m such an idiot. I want her so much. It feels like a bit of an ache in my diaphragm, although I hate using that word – it is exactly where the feeling is but looks so…unpoetic. But chest isn’t really specific. The feeling sort of starts below the rib-cage, in the very centre of my core, then it flows (slowly though so I don’t know if flow is a good word…maybe eases. Yeah.) and it eases up behind my lungs and into the pit of my throat. Behind that bit where your collar bones dip. In the dip of your collar bone. That’s better. And then it rises a little more to sit just behind your oesophagus. You can feel it if you press the flesh of your throat back against the ridges protecting your windpipe, about midway up your neck. Rub it around gently and that sensation is a more precise version of the feeling I have now. Running out of page now so I’ll have to use what’s left from yesterdays… WEDNESDAY (9-1.30). DAY 4. No Casey today. But then, how many times.
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