I knew there wasn’t a car. I knew what happened. And I had a plan.A few hours later the sun was going down and Gary and I were downing shots at my local. The bartender was nervous. Gary was getting louder, and every so often he would slam his enormous softball-sized fist into the table. I assured the staff that I had Gary under control. And I did. “If she weren’t a woman...” Gary growled.This was the moment I was waiting for. “Gary,” I said. “It’s not a woman.”Gary looked at me like I had a third eye. “Not a...”“The Jeffersons next door said they went over to drop off a Bundt cake, and that Finklestein asshole told them plain as day that he’s a drag queen. Showed Bonita his driver’s license and everything.”I could see the veins in Gary’s neck straining and he was turning red. “That’s fucking unnatural!” he screamed. “No way in hell I’m letting some queen in a wig take what’s mine!”“Hey Gary calm down,” I said. “You’re getting everyone all worried. I’ll tell you what. I’ll drop you. No one even gave him a second glance, probably all silently swearing that his sister was 'taken'. It did however send him on a very slippery slope of thoughts of his own as the group set off into the forest, thoughts he knew he should never have."You are crazy, but you know that, don't you?"She giggled and looked at him with that smile that was driving him crazy. "It worked, didn't it?" Sure did, you broke quite a few hearts there." Well, I sure don't want a bunch of strangers making moves on me every inch of the way, I hope you don't mind."He shook his head. "I don't, but wouldn't the truth have sufficed?" Maybe, maybe not. Ask yourself, would you stop chasing a chick just because her brother was around?" I might, but I see your point." Great, then let's enjoy the rest of the hike in peace from all those horny guys. I feel for the single ladies in the group, I hope they are wet and horny by the time we set up camp."Hearing Lucy talk like that didn't help one bit against his dick that.
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