"Informing the kids was the hardest moment of my life. I wanted us to tell the kids, share the news together as a united front. It was a trial to just get my husband to agree to be there, but only so I would not try to demean or shift the burden onto him. I know it was my own mess to clean up. The children blamed themselves first, which was the hardest. Then they blamed me outright. I was not prepared for anger, tears, screaming, then silence. My youngest a preschooler, did not get it right away. Which means I'll have to have some version of this conversation again and again.I do not know how my husband did it, but he did not bad-mouth me to the kids. I hope he never does. I know what I did to my ex in the marriage but I want my kids to love me. I just pray he will not make snide remarks about I did, it just won't help them. It will cause confusion, pain and more heartache than they need. The goal now is to present as united a front as possible, and I can't do that if he is constantly. Not quite drunk, but near enough for his coordination to be affected. He sat down heavily on a tree trunk, hoping that his head would clear sufficiently for him to make it back to the colonial style house. As the eldest son of the Plantation owners, he was treated with a deference and respect above his young age. At twenty-one, he had seen and experienced rather more than the average young man in the 1760's. To his credit, around half a dozen children could be blamed on him directly. Possibly twice that number might be carrying his genes, but these were unproven.Gradually, his head cleared as the strong alcohol wore off. He noticed the young girl, standing apart from the rowdy dance crowd. She stood under a palm and seemed to be staring straight at him. She was dressed in the usual cotton dress, undyed and frayed in places. The straps were hanging off of her shoulders, around the tops of her arms and the frayed hem was tucked into her knickers at her left hip, allowing for a glimpse.
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