"She was tempted to kiss him again but resisted. She made a mental notethat she was going to have to talk to Dr. Fleming about this kissinginstinct."Kong can probably help you with the jocks. Might even be able to get thecheerleaders on your side. Have you told him, yet?"She shook her head."Gotta do that. Kong is the key." Don't call him that."He smiled at her and she blushed."I'll host the party. How about Saturday night?" Isn't that kind of soon?" You want this done with, don't you?"#They were walking together, but the words wouldn't come. Ken had acceptedthe offer of an after-school chat immediately. Now, she had no idea howto start."You okay?" Ken asked at last. As always, caring and protective. And thenit was clear."Do you remember the other night, when you told me how you sometimesthink of me as a girl?"He began to stutter apologies."No, it's okay. The truth is, since I was really little, I always wantedto be a girl. My oldest and dearest friend is a girl, my sister and I. I felt… apathetic. I went back and lay down on the cot. I woke to darkness outside. I felt like there were large rodents inside my body, gnawing away. Even the thought of drinking water made me dizzy. I staggered down the street to the Corral. I had to stop every few doors. A cold wind had come up and I didn’t bring a coat. I felt like my body was shutting down, as if it had independently decided it didn’t want to live like this anymore. At that point I wasn’t going to argue with it. I made it down to the Corral again. Leaning against the poster of Gene Autry, trying to catch my breath. I could hear music, horns playing, softly in the distance. Was this it? Was this what it was like to die? The music came closer, I could now hear singing, a song heard years ago: Onward, Christian soldiers, marching as to war, With the cross of Jesus going on before. I could see them coming, a band playing music, dressed in the uniforms Annie and Bill had been wearing. There were trombones, trumpets,.
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