"I love you. I forgive you." I love you, too." I smiled back at her.I wanted to ask her what she was forgiving me for, but I think I knew. She must have known somehow about Rebecca. Then she closed her eyes, never to open them again.I continued to keep her drip going, giving her the pain injections every two hours, day and night, until the morning of her last breath. For a couple of hours her breathing was eratic, shallow sometimes, other times deep. There was a final exhalation, then she was still.It was my wife's wish that she be cremated. She didn't want any formal funeral or service, just that her closest family and friends get together and remember her and have a few drinks. She specified that her ashes were not to be kept, but instead be scattered in her two favorite places, Maui and Napa Valley.True to her wishes, I drove up to Napa Valley a few days after her cremation and scattered about half of her ashes, a little at each one of the vineyards of her favorite wineries. And a. Feeling Jasper's excitement mingled with her own cautious fears, Sienna thought about it. She could stay here, safe in the warehouse with only Jasper near her. And he could be her guide. Let her dip her toes into the water again, and maybe she'd actually be able to survive in the world again someday. Her excitement bubbling up, she looked up at Jasper again, and they both knew she was ready. "Tomorrow night," Jasper said. "We'll get started." It was a night for both of them. They had both learned to somewhat maneuver through their constant storm of emotions, not quite as susceptible to each and every spike. But tonight was a new level of patience. Despite his obvious and quite visible arousal, Jasper refused to indulge in any sexual activity that night. Sienna, privy to the deep smoldering excitement within him, could barely contain herself. But Jasper was getting off on the withholding, and the waiting. Despite the raging she could feel within him, he seemed content to sit in his.
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