Emily Brand had been a sweet innocent, and in many ways, she continued to give that impression, though she had participated in the bawdy game his father had introduced them to, with great gusto. Since then, she had kept her distance, and Tom had hardly seen her. His entanglements with Amy, Elizabeth and Isabelle were hardly real to him. These women were in some ways figures of fantasy: persons of their class didn't normally associate with the likes of him. He was, he knew, just a novelty to them, which would wear off in time.He heard a shriek from within the wood, and it startled him from his reverie. Plunging into the shadow of the trees, he followed the sound of another shrill cry, until he came upon the sight of Belinda thrown forward over a tree bole, where Mr Pierce the butler, held his long thin spindle in one hand, whilst with the other, scrabbled to pull her skirt up and knickers down before plunging into her belly.Belinda might be complaining, but she moved her legs further. James – what the fuck – what the fuck doyawant-huh? With a fucking loser like me – fucking fucktard fucking bitch? I’m a fucking bitch. That’s what the guys call me – fucking loser bitch.” And then he threw himself into me, sobbing, face in my neck, crying like I never seen a man cry – like he’d been holding it in his whole life – whatever it was.“Aww baby – baby boy. Son. Son,” I said, just holding him, caressing him. “It’s okay. Let it out, k**. It’s okay to let it out – you need to. It’s okay.“It’s not okay. I’m a loser,” he said, one more time. But he had more control now. It was more of a statement. He pulled back, looking me in the eye, declared it again: “I’m a loser, Mr. James.”“No, Ryan. You’re not.”“What I got that’s good, huh,” he snuffed, daring me to find his strengths in the pile of weaknesses that grasped my larger frame.“Son – yeah – you’re fucked up. But we all are. Fuck, k**. I’m a drunk. Holding on one day at a time. You’ll figure out your shit – in the meantime,.
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