At first, there'd seemed to be an overwhelming number of ratings, but she'd been able to memorize most. Lenore herself was a 'BM2', she'd learned, and both Dillon and Kostowe had told her that the Navy didn't particularly care about her name, but the rating and rank were presumed enough. She suspected it was something along the lines of: just about any sailor with the rank and rate could and would be expected to do the job.Dillon had shown up Monday to help coach Lenore, and the Chief talked to him privately for a long time after setting Lenore to studying ratings. When the two came back out of the cabin, both she and Dillon had been told they could address Kostowe as 'Boats', as Lenore herself could expect to be addressed.The Chief was beside himself with giddiness at the whole thing, Lenore saw, and it warmed her heart to the core. Even Dillon reacted to it, sharing grins with Lenore behind the Chief's back. Dillon confided that the Chief was giving him career advice during. ” The thoughts in my head and the feelings in my heart are colliding. More sternly and much louder you say “Michelle! What’s wrong?” You’ve rolled off the bed and are standing at the edge. Your hands are out in front of you with your palms up as if to ask a question. I can’t respond. I’m frozen. It’s just pure and raw emotion inside me. Opening my mouth will only set off the stream of tears that I’m trying to fight back. “DAMN IT MICHELLE, WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG!” The dam bursts. Yelling at me was the catalyst that caused my tears start flowing uncontrolled. Trails of moisture run down my cheeks. I need get out, I need to leave. I jump up from the bed clutching the quilt to my chest. I scan around the room looking for my clothes. My inner schoolgirl stands there mocking me with an “I told you so” look on her face. With my back to you I quickly pull my camisole top on and reach for my skirt. “Where are my panties?” I half yell at no one and everyone at the same time. I can’t see.
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