”Wishes gave me a hug and then settled back into the seat.“So?” She asked.“Sorry,” I was beginning to function again although I still didn’t understand how this could possible have happened.“So tell me about it silly!”So I spent almost an hour telling Wishes what I knew of my driving lessons around Birmingham. I remembered all the roads I drove around on as I was learning, even though as Graham the only time I visited the city was in 1944 when I had to wait an hour on the station platform for a connecting train.I described the test day, how nervous I was. I told her how I was convinced that I had failed the test because at one point the examiner had told me to take the next right turn and I had turned left. When I stopped the car at the end of the test he congratulated me on a fine piece of driving and told me I had passed, I had almost argued with him about it.“But, but I can’t have passed,” I told him, “I took a wrong turn on Symonds Road!”He chuckled and smiled at me.“Miss Pearce. In the same way, what seems ‘normal’ to someone who sees a lot of pornography, or has experienced a steady escalation in the material they’re viewing, may be far from normal (and even abhorrent) to someone who doesn’t - or has, but decided it wasn’t for them.The take-home, though, is that pornography is not in-and-of-itself, the problem. How pornography use affects your life, self-image and your relationships, can be.These effects can be very subtle in how they affect a partner or a wider circle of friends, and cumulative over time. It could lead to you feeling dissatisfied with your behaviour or how you look, attempts to introduce sexual practices that your partner is not comfortable with, a compulsion to act out fantasies that put you at risk, financial outlays that put you under pressure or eschewing real life experiences in order to live out fantasies online.If you’re not sharing an aspect of your sexuality (i.e. your porn preferences) with a partner, it’s harder for them to be.
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