Obversely, sometimes Frank feels vulnerable and wants some nurturing that his boy hasn’t developed the capacity to offer, and Ernesto feels like a failure. That’s not necessarily a bad thing. The shadow side of the boy’s reverence for the masculine ideal can manifest as a tendency to locate that masculine essence as exclusively outside of oneself and letting sexual competence (Sucking Daddy Off) substitute for healthy development in new directions, professionally or emotionally. As Pat Califia points out in the introduction to the erotic anthology Doing It for Daddy, Daddy-boy relationships are a form of mentoring. “Too many young men still have to struggle alone with the question What does it mean to love or want another man? What kind of person does that make me? What will it do to the rest of my life?” And the rewards of mentoring go both ways. The advantage for the designated boy centers on the opportunity to receive the particular masculine love that a tender and nurturing Daddy. ’ ‘But what if I don’t want to go this year?’ ‘Don’t be silly. You have to go. You love it.’ ‘Okay. I’ll start packing up here today and try to get out of here tomorrow or Sunday.’ ‘Why would it take you that long to pack?’ ‘I have to clean the place up. I haven’t had the time to do that with all the studying. ‘I have to do the piled-up dishes, all the wash, floors, clean up generally, I wouldn’t want to come back to that kind of mess in the fall.’ But mostly I wanted to spend two more days with Jeff. ‘I can send someone to do that.’ ‘Come on, Dad. This is stuff I do all year. I just got behind during finals. I’ll have plenty of time to get ready when I get home.’ ‘All right, I’ll see you Sunday.’ How was I going to break this to Jeff? ‘So you go away on a family trip every summer?’ he asked. That was easy. The next part wouldn’t be. ‘For a month.’ ‘Damn. Maybe I can get some time to come up and see you.’ ‘To Europe.’ ‘Oh.’ He was dejected. So was I, I just hid it better. ‘I’ll talk.
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