’ When he said that I got tears in my eyes. Here was somebody who was willing to die to protect me and he gave me the medal for bravery that he got saving George’s life. He had told me that he thought of me as a daughter and that he loved me more than his own life and had proved it. Crying, I just nodded and took it to my little room and put it on my dresser with the lid open so I would see it every day. I would never forget Dar as long as I lived and I would make sure that he new it every day for as long as he lived. After that, we just sat and watched T.V. for awhile. It must have been about noon when Shelly and Sandra came in. They asked us why we were still in here, and Dar said, ‘Oh, we were just watching T.V. I didn’t want to do anything today anyway.’ I smiled and said, ‘Me to. I just don’t feel like doing anything today except being lazy.’ ‘Well,’ said Shelly, ‘you have a bunch to do anyway. We have plans for you 2 and your not getting away from us today. We’re going out. "No, I mean..."But I cut in before he could finish. "Question is," I said, "have I beenpunished or given a gift?"Eventually we went outside to catch some fresh air, grab a coffee andbreakfast and continue the conversation. This was how we ended up inFilton Park, listening to the distant plink of the softball game as Ipoured out my soul to Jase.Jase was keen to stop me dwelling on Simone's death. He was curiousabout life as a woman and wanted to find out how I lived with thechanges."How did you adapt, socially?" Jase asked me. "I mean, now that you werestuck as a female? How did you relate to other men and women?" Oh, you wouldn't believe the bullshit you have to go through as awoman." The memory of dozens of petty humiliations washed over me. "Youcan't begin to comprehend it. It's another world. I mean, you mustremember some of it from being a girl." I remember certain kinds of conditioning, yes," said Jase. "I recallattitudes about sugar and spice. I remember my 'princess' phase. I.
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