I blended in with them alright. I looked every bit the slutty part. Within minutes I was greeted by a guy who introduced himself as Jim. Jim was a tall white guy of about six feet and a solid two-hundred pounds. He had dark hair and piercing blue eyes. He had on a lame “costume” of a baseball cap wrapped in aluminum foil. Even in my stiletto heels Jim was still taller than me. “So, what’s your name? I’m surprised I haven’t seen you here before, you don’t look familiar,” Jim stated. Somewhat panicked, I looked for Anthony and Jillian but they were on the complete opposite side of the room getting drinks. I would have to talk to Jim it seemed. “Chr – Cynthia,” I replied in what I felt was my most feminine voice possible, “and you?” “I’m Jim,” he replied, “and you, Cynthia, have a very sultry and sexy voice.” I didn’t know how to respond to Jim but he was soon standing right next to me at a distance that would not seem to be within the realm of normal American standards for personal. .. ... keep your mouth shut.Fixing the dentsOne day a Stepford Wife entered an auto body shop claiming that she’d suffered extensive damage to her new car.The mechanic thought he’d have some fun with her so he told her that she didn’t need him to fixed all the dents.He said she could fix them herself by blowing into the tailpipe as hard as she could and they’d all pop out.The Stepford Wives went home and proceeded to get down on her hands and knees in the driveway. She was blowing into the pipe as hard as she could and her face was turning purple when The Stepford Wife from across the street walked over and asked what she was doing?After hearing the whole story the second Stepford Wife pauses for a moment then responds, “Hello! The windows are down!”The Church GossipMildred, the church gossip, and self-appointed monitor of the church’s morals, kept sticking her nose into other people’s business.Several members did not approve of her extra-curricular activities, but feared her enough.
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