We can live free for the moment. Experience . . . “ but I did not. She paused and looked up at me, sizing me up. I continued “What do you say? Want to spend another hour or so with a pessimist? I’ll try not to harsh your buzz on life anymore.” “Sure let’s go.” She reach down and grabbed her case and started out the door while I paid the check. She was appeared to be an independent breed. I did not think she would not let me carry her case. I walked outside. She was stretching her arms above her head and then leaned side to side. Admiring her movements. Her tan midriff exposed. She was gorgeous. What the fuck and I doing I said to myself, thinking of the look on Sarah’s face. I walked up to her, remotely unlocking the car and reached down to place her case in the back seat. She grabbed it out of my hand; yep independent. I opened the front passenger door. “Hey, you don’t need to do that for me.” “I’m not. I have my shit all over the seat I have to clean it off. I wasn’t expecting. Let’s first decide what will make you happy. Then we’ll figure out how to make it happen.”“I know you mean well. And it makes me feel good that you want me here in bed like you do. But I’ve got problems that can’t be fixed.”“You’ve got a husband who’s a cold, overbearing, abusive drunk who uses his fists to make his house run like he wants.”“Yes,” Leanne said and began to sob quietly.“And you are a proud woman who is determined to protect your children from him. So you plan on riding it out until they are out of the house.”“That’s right. I may be lonely, but when it’s all over, I will have done the best I could for Kara, Brian and Julie. That’s something to be proud of.”“But what about the damage he does just being around? Is he the reason that Julie, for all her good qualities, is so distant? Is that why she refuses to engage me emotionally?”Her crying grew harder.“Everyone walks on eggshells. They’ve learned not to confront him because if they do then he bullies them or insults.
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