Still, I could notlet go. The next day was Saturday, and I asked her if she would meetme again in the morning. Again, her painful inner struggle wasevident, but in the end she agreed. I could not sleep that night, inanticipation.We met at 10, and sat under a tree in a secluded part of the campus.I brought her the most special gift I could think of, a sonnet Ispent most of the night writing just for her. (It was laterpublished as the first poem in "Desperately Seeking Leah".) Shecried when I finished reciting it to her, and I put her head on myshoulder and kissed her, this time on the lips. She did not resist,but the tears kept on flowing. She was obviously fighting withherself and then a victory! She put her arms around my neck andreturned my kiss with full fervor. Soon, we were deeply entwined andengaged in an act of mutual oral exploration. She was divine. Ifelt that I had to go farther, farther. My hand slowly found its wayunder her skirt, and inched its way upward.. As I understood their was no right way to do it but she seemed to get louder then I was when she did it in the same room as me. I never watched her finger herself though. Even if I had she would have been okay with it because of how close we were and had always been.It makes me laugh when ever I think back to when we were younger and we hid our habits of sexual stimulation. Nowadays we do it out in the open with no need to hide it. She starts panting heavily and moaning and then screaming/ I try to imitate what she is doing just so thinks that I know what I'm doing. I'm actually afraid tot ell my best friend that I don't really know how to masturbate. Maybe I should tell her and ask her for pointers. Maybe then I wouldn't have to fake my orgasms anymore.Days later I was still thinking about whether or not I was gay and if I should ask Melissa to teach me how to masturbate. It's not like I never got off. I did quite often. It's just when I did orgasm it was never as strong as.
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