We had been talking about what a loser our housemate was, but this changed things."H-Hi girls..." he stammered "Is everything OK?" We were wondering if you wanted to join us for a nightcap, Simon..." Sarah asked, still staring at his pendulous dick. At that moment there was a tearing sound, and the fake cock that was velcro'd to the front of his tight white underpants fell to the floor with a thud. Simon went bright red and slammed the door shut in our faces while we pissed ourselves out in the corridor. His door locked and the blue light from his computer monitor came back on again. Sarah and I went back to my room and drank tequila until we passed out.The next day a new girl, Emily, moved in to the house. She was skinny and blonde with hardly any boobs whatsoever, so we were surprised Simon had invited her to move in, even though she did have an awesome six pack. She was studying psychology and seemed uber-shy, so we were a little worried she might not fit in. Simon had come out of. I looked back at the mountain before me and sighed. ‘Look, I am just trying to leave – I left a good tip, she’ll just have to accept that as my apology,’ I said. I was hoping this wasn’t going to get blown out of proportion. I was surprised when he let go of my arm. ‘Okay, but I think she wants to apologize to you,’ he said, stepping aside to let me pass. I looked back at the bar and Maddy waved me in again. ‘Shit,’ I thought. Now I had to go back. I took a deep breath and took the long walk back to the bar. ‘I think I misunderstood you,’ Maddy apologized, ‘I was wrong and I’d like buy you a drink. I certainly don’t want you to leave angry with us.’ She was giving me a fake smile. I could tell she wasn’t used to apologizing. The six dollars was still on the bar and a fresh drink was waiting. I thought about just accepting her apology and leaving. There was nothing here that really appealed to me. Maddy wasn’t even appealing any more. The math was easier when I added in the dark.
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