"I'm sorry," I said. "Apparently I have a sore spot." Chuck, you are not the first one to tell me that. I had friends tell me as much, but you know, the heart wants what the heart wants." She sighed. "And a lot of times, the heart is a clueless dumbass." Yet somehow civilization goes on," I said. The miles were piling up behind us."What's your plan? This next town doesn't have anything besides a gas station and a dollar store." Where are you heading?" she asked."The city you were heading for. I live on the outskirts." And your wife doesn't mind you bringing home a stray?" My wife chose to take off for greener pastures. Her current hubby ... Never mind. No wife. House is mine. Am I bringing you home?" I dunno. Are you? I mean, you can drop me at a hotel, for damned sure. I have some money. I'll be okay. Really." Look, I have an empty house. Three bedrooms, even got beds in two of them. You're free to stay for the weekend if you want. You get all the privacy you need. You have your own. The following week, all members of both families appear in court. The fight continues in the court room until the Judge finally brings calm with the use of his hammer, shouting “Silence in Court.”The court room goes silent and Paddy (the best man) stands up and says, “Judge ... I was the best man at the wedding and I think I should explain what happened.”The Judge agrees and asks Paddy to take the stand. Paddy begins his explanation by telling the court that it is traditional in a Cavan wedding that the Best Man gets the first dance with the Bride.The judge says “OK.”“Well”, said Paddy, “After I had finished the first dance, the music kept going, so I continued dancing to the second song, and after that the music kept going and I was dancing to the third song ... when all of a sudden the Groom leapt over the table, ran towards us and gave the Bride an unmerciful kick in her privates.”The Judge instantly responded... “Wow ... that must have hurt!”Paddy replies “HURT! ... He broke three.
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