One might think eating strange things in a dark forest would inevitably lead to eating something poisonous or deadly but in this case, Fatty had no worries. After his hand had started to glow, it’d start flashing orange and begin to burn whenever it approached something he shouldn’t put near his mouth. Which he discovered rather quickly after a torturous hour of painting the ass end of his jumpsuit brown and writhing on the ground in agony. Since then, he’d never again tried to eat the berries with a texture and shape of an aged ball sack.“Huff! Huff! Fuck I’ve been running for what feels like half a day. I should be out of this forest by now!” Fatty puffed as he slowed to a walk as he moved between the trees.‘Fuck! Will I be trapped in this forest for the rest of my life? I have to escape! I can’t spend the rest of my life eating suspiciously shaped berries and suggestive looking mushrooms. And Christ as my witness, if I have to drink from another glowing puddle that smells like. Hamar,” the woman on the other end said, “I hope I’m not bothering you too early in the morning, but you said you wanted to know. Oh. This is Wanda Martin. Billie had heart surgery early this morning. She is in intensive care now, but the doctors say it was successful.”“Wanda, that’s wonderful,” I exclaimed. I was so afraid that it was going to be bad news that my breath must have sounded like an explosion. “I’m so happy,” I continued. “You must be exhausted. Is Billie awake yet?” I looked at the clock. It was after ten, but I had no idea what “early in the morning” meant.“She’s awake, but pretty groggy,” Wanda said. “The first thing she said was tell Mr. Hamar. You’ve had a big impact on her, and she’s been talking about becoming a private investigator when she grows up.” When she grows up. I thought about it. The real victory was that she would grow up.“Tell Billie that I will come see her soon,” I said. “And congratulations! It’s truly wonderful news.”I hung up and sat in my chair.
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