His eyes fluttered open and he said, ‘You’re beautiful.’ Then he fell asleep again.His wife had never heard him say that before, so she stayed by his side. A few minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said, ‘You’re cute... ‘ The wife was disappointed because instead of ‘beautiful, ‘ it was now ‘cute.’She asked, ‘What happened to beautiful?’The man replied, ‘The drugs are wearing off.’A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest, ‘I almost had an affair with another woman.’ The priest said, ‘What do you mean, almost?’ The Irishman said, ‘Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped.’ The priest said, ‘Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You’re not to see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Mary’s and put $50 in the poor box.’ The Irishman left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box. He paused for a moment and then started to leave. The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over. "Well, Albert," said Franz, "do you feel much inclined to join the revels? Come, answer frankly." Ma foi, no," returned Albert. "But I am really glad to have seen such a sight; and I understand what the count said--that when you have once habituated yourself to a similar spectacle, it is the only one that causes you any emotion." Without reflecting that this is the only moment in which you can study character," said the count; "on the steps of the scaffold death tears off the mask that has been worn through life, and the real visage is disclosed. It must be allowed that Andrea was not very handsome, the hideous scoundrel! Come, dress yourselves, gentlemen, dress yourselves." Franz felt it would be ridiculous not to follow his two companions' example. He assumed his costume, and fastened on the mask that scarcely equalled the pallor of his own face. Their toilet finished, they descended; the carriage awaited them at the door, filled with sweetmeats and bouquets. They fell into the.
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