The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear end, sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie.The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and remaining strength and very slowly managed to get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, "Okay, you old fart. Now it's my turn."(I love this part) The old farmer smiled and said, "Nah, I give up. You can have the duck."This one is compliments of kilocyclesExcuse meA man enters a hotel lobby. As he runs to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman and as he does, his elbow hits her breast.They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me."She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 243."This one is complements of R LA little boy walks into a whorehouse with a murderous look on his face and a dead frog in his hands and asks, "I want a whore with herpes."The madam looks at the boy and. Eragon had tried probing the forest several times for a mind, but nothing but the trees and animals within them were there. It was only after he could no longer stand the invisible eyes that he cast out the ancient language's name and asked the creatures to reveal themselves to him.To his surprise he was answered. Beings who slightly resembled elves had gathered on the edge of the forest, peeking their heads out from behind trees. The thing that struck Eragon the most was their pale, almost translucent, skin. Their ears were pointed just as the elves and they even carried the same light and fluidness in their steps as they did. It was their eyes that deffinately seperated them from the fair folk. They had pupils, but the iris around them had three rings of colors, each fading into the next. The darkest ring was on the outside, and the lightest in the middle. It appeared as if light was glowing behind the black center of their eyes.These creatures visited Eragon and the elves every.
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