I said to her “If I were to die suddenly, I want you to immediately sell all my stuff”. “Now why would you want me to do something like that?” she asked. “I figure that you would eventually remarry and I don’t want some other wanker using my stuff”. She looked at me and said: “What makes you think I’d marry another wanker?”Sent my washing to the cleaners the other day with a note enclosed ‘use more soap powder on pants’. When the laundry came back there was another note attached ‘use more paper on arse’.I asked my Kiwi mate how many sexual partners he’d had, he started counting and then drifted off to sleep.A bloke’s son fell asleep at a party, so for a laugh they decided to shave his eyebrows off and draw a cock on his face? His wife went fucking mental when she looked in his cot!A man goes into the local corner deli. When the clerk, a very buxom young girl, asks if she can get him anything, he leans over and whispers “Is it true that you give hand jobs in the back room?” “Why yes,. I took in a long and deep breath before walking down the street. I looked around at the houses and street lights trying to figure out where I was going. I was far from his house where my car was parked in the driveway. I looked down at my shoes thankful I decided to wear my low heel sandals instead of my wedge heeled sandals. Was it a sign? Was my choice in shoes a way of telling me that this was going to happen? I shook my head over the thought of my fashion sense being smarter than I was. I crossed my arms against my torso when feeling a cold breeze blow through me. I couldn’t believe that he would do that to me. I walked down the street trying to figure out how anyone could do something so horrible. I ignored Ethan for him. I broke up with Ethan for him. I fell in love with him, cared for him more than anyone else for it to just be a lie. I looked to my side when I heard a car slowly pull up beside me. I kept walking expecting it to be Jonathan. ‘I don’t want to hear it,.
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