Can you take me back to civilization, please?”“Human civilization?” she asked. “Ideally.”“What’s in it for me?”“Pardon?”“I’m not gonna just help you out of the forest because I’m nice.”“Why not?”“Because that’s not how the world works, mister! Ugh, you’re impossible!” she said, then started to fly away.“Wait, wait, wait! What do you want?” I called after her. She flew back.“Whaddaya got?” she asked, looking me up and down.“Uh, not much. Just some camping gear. A smart watch. Everything is kinda too big for you, though.”“Got any human seed?”“What? No, I don’t think so.”“You’re a male of the species, yes?”“Well, yeah, but-”“I was told all human males have seeds they used to pollinate the females.”It took a second for me to figure out what the hell she was talking about. “Ooooh… uh, yeah, I have human… seed.”“Splendid! I need some for a potion. Hand it over and I’ll take you home.”“It’s… not that easy.”“Why not?”Oh boy, was I really going to talk the birds and the bees with a fairy? Did. Back in Mumbai, a meeting was arranged and one Saturday guess who knocks on my door – Hema darling. I let her and guess whose following – Uma darling. Help – what was the latter doing here?Hema was dressed in a yellow sari with a matching blouse and guess what – dark black flat heels. Uma was in grey – sari and blouse and heels one could die for. Both had short cropped hair. Both were big in the butt but Uma’s boobs were larger – and always popping out of her blouse. Some strategic “pallu” dropping was always taking place. Uma’s hipster was quite chick – showing off her large navel – Hema was more circumspect in her dressing. Big Ass had once mentioned that Uma was “safa chatt”, which I presume implied that she had no pubic hair – as to how Big Ass gauged that beats me. Must have shared a room somewhere. Off Hema – there was no such insider info. I showed the ladies into the drawing room and got them a cup of tea. Idle chatter followed and I was beginning to wonder where this meeting.
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