' Gradually I'd learned how tobe a better partner for her, more sympathetic, more sensitive to herfeelings and desires. And little by little I'd felt deeper satisfactionwhen I yielded to those desires, understood them, made them my own.Now, most of them were my own! Especially while I was asleep anddreaming. Even a desire to be fucked by a man, apparently!"That dream seemed so real this time," I said. "I dreamt I was a woman,and a man was ... being passionate with me, and it felt ... simplymarvelous! So very ... I just can't say! Am I turning queer? Is thata new recording? Maybe you slipped something into my wine last night?"She looked offended. "Oh, my dearest, how can you think that? Not atall! No, your program suggests new desires while reinforcing the oldones, all so you'll know all the more about how women feel, what pleasesus, how you can share those feelings and pleasures with us. That's all.Last night was no different from any other. We had dinner as we alwaysdo.. That whole week I was in turmoil trying to decide what to do. Amanda had told me she was not a virgin but to keep it special she did not want to make love to me until we were married, yet there she was spending the night in an R rated motel, not with one guy but three. At first I was never going to speak to her again but she had told me she loved me so I decided to give her one chance to explain her actions.When I met her the following Friday I had butterflies in my stomach as we went to our favorite bar. I ordered both of us a double and then told her I had followed her last Saturday night all the way to the Starlight Motel. She burst into tears right away. Crying she said she could not tell me why and if I wanted my engagement ring back she would give it to me. She said she would understand if I never wanted to see her again but she wanted me to know that I was the only one she loved, but she had to do those things, she had no choice. She would not say why but she had to do whatever.
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