” “I’m not being nasty. I’m just trying to find a way through this. I have to have something.” “Did I really hurt you that much?” Simon looked at the floor for a moment and hesitated. “Go on, say it.” “I tried to get over it,” he said, “but it leaves a hole in my life. I have to fill it with something. You have Leonard. What have I got?” “You have your work.” “The work is only for you and the kids” “You’ve got me.” “I haven’t got you. Leonard has you whenever he wants, and you have Leonard. I come third. The kids are all I have.” “Do you really think that?” “Mary, thinking has nothing to do with it; it’s feelings that matter, how I feel. I feel love for you I don’t think love; it's not maths or logic. I feel wounded. I'm struggling to keep up and I'm losing ground.” “I’m sorry.” “So am I, but you saying sorry makes it hurt more because you know it’s a lie. You’re sorry that I’m hurt because you told yourself that I wouldn’t mind because I was working all the time, but now. If they're okay with it, I am."Friday afternoon, Mrs. Gordon picked up Rhonda, Samantha, and me from school. The girls already had their gear packed in the car as Samantha had stayed at Rhonda's house the night before. I was surprised, though, to see Mrs. Cortales with her. We drove home and Dad already had the horses loaded. I grabbed my pack and tossed it in the trunk of the Gordons' car. The three of us piled into the big bench seat of the truck with Dad. Mom got in the car with Mrs. Gordon and Mrs. Cortales."I didn't know they were all going," Samantha said."Uh ... I think they are going to the ranch to meet Jennifer's and Courtney's moms." Really? Why?" Rhonda asked."I think it's another of the unwritten rules," I said. "Like you always walk your date to his or her door—depending on who drives. This one is something like the parents get to talk about their kids." Dad laughed. Rhonda was wedged right up against him and she and Samantha had managed to fasten the center seatbelt.
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