My underwear was gone. She had replaced them with women's panties. I groaned. But I had to wear something under my suit. So I picked out a pair and slipped them on. They felt strange. They ran through my butt cheeks in the back, especially with the extra hardware in front.After I finished getting dressed, I went into the kitchen. "Morning sweetie," she said almost gleefully, still wearing her bathrobe. "Sleep well?"She handed me a cup of coffee and gave me a peck on the cheek."How did you like your birthday present?" she asked."Which one?" Oh? Did you have a favorite? Frankie or Johnny?" Is that their names? Where did you find them?" I know people." Right. I bet you do." Really? Did you have a favorite?" You." I said."Aww, that's sweet." She hugged me from behind and then reached a hand down to my crotch to feel the heft of her cage. "Mmmmn. So sweet. Do you like it?" No. Not really. I can't pee standing up." Oh, honey. That's okay," she said as she continued to fondle her new toy.. How many thin mints do you have to eat before they start working?My wife just stopped and said, “You weren’t even listening, were you?”I thought to myself, “That’s a pretty weird way to start a conversation.”Mr. Rogers did not adequately prepare me for the people in my neighborhood.If stupidity were a disability, I know a few people who’d be getting monthly checks... You know you’re getting old when you can’t walk past a bathroom without thinking, “I might as well pee, as long as I’m here”.Pharmacist to a customer: “Sir, please understand, to buy an anti-depression pill you need a proper prescription ... Simply showing your marriage certificate and your wife’s picture is not enough.”A bookseller conducting a market survey asked a woman “Which book has helped you most in your life?”The woman replied, “My husband’s check book”“Political Correctness is just fascism pretending to be manners”—George CarlinMary Poppins, you’re under arrest for Supercallifragilisticsextrafficking.“And with.
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