. ?”“It’s like I can’t help it. It’s like an obsession. I start something and it steers towards that.”“What do you think it’s about?” Lindy asked. “I mean, it’s not like we’re a part of a ritualistic world. None of us are religious...”“Guilt,” I said as I realized it.“What do you have to be guilty about?”“We all have something to be guilty about. Not doing enough for people who don’t have what we have for instance.”“Nonsense,” said Tash.“Okay. It’s more personal. Something I did because I was too young and stupid and horny to realize what I did.”“You ... raped someone?” asked Lindy, freezing and shifting away from me.“I ... I didn’t think I did. We were in bed. She was my girlfriend. Short term, I admit, and not like my longer girlfriends who seemed to surprise me with their interest in me. Those never seemed to ever want to say no.”“But she did.”“Yes. I thought it was playful. We were sort of wrestling about. But...”“You were doing the wrestling.”“I was. And she said no. I didn’t. So, I went to Brad, and we decided that he would come in and pretend to be just as angry with me as you were. He won you over and became your lover. I had decided that if I was going to loose you to another man then I wanted that man to be our son. I would watch every now and again and remember when you derived that much pleasure from me, and it made me happy to see that you were happy. But then just as I had Brad asked for more, and you got angry. You are a possessive foolish woman. If you would have let Brad have his way, or let me have mine, you wouldn’t be so miserable now. Yes, I have made you pay for the kind of hell I have been through with you. I know in your little mind you thought you were getting the better of me, but all the while it was I who got the better of you.” He paused in his speech, and I looked at him dumbfounded. I couldn’t believe all he was saying to me. It might be true, but at this point I didn’t want to believe it. “Nothing to say Dear? Well, then, I’ll.
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