She had a great story to tell. Walden, the donkey-schlong guy from my swimming class, had visited the campus to audition for nude modeling and acting. He was asked to sign up for every available slot. He thought he could work fourteen hours a week and still take a full class load. An art student named Sonja posted a naked picture of Walden on her campus profile page and listed which classes he would be working. It appears that none of the girls ever looked at this face as he was actually somewhat homely. By the end of the day there were Four hundred ninety-six replies to the post, most from girls but a surprising number from guys whose notes were dripping with testosterone and lust. The replies were quite explicit about what the students wanted to do with Walden’s naked body. Sonja invited everyone to her dorm to meet Walden in person. She forgot to ask the Senior Resident. The dorm was mobbed. The Twin got there early and joined Sonja and a naked Walden on a couch. They took turns. Needless to say the lie about the errands couldn’t be hidden when I came home with alcohol on my breath. She went from a loving wife to a screaming banshee in three seconds flat. A new record! After she calmed down enough to speak without spitting, she told me if I did anything like that again I wouldn’t like the consequences. OK, I shouldn’t have lied. That was way wrong and I knew it so I kept apologizing until she told me to shut the hell up. However, I still felt entitled to a little me time and since I enjoyed a nightly beer, I decided to keep having them. She stopped talking to me and I had to sleep on the couch. This time I wasn’t taking her crap and I let her know it. ‘I’m entitled to a little down time and treating myself to a beer after work IS going to happen!’ It went on like this for a couple of weeks and neither of us was letting up. Now it’s time to get back to how I ended up in the hospital emergency room. Remember I told you I always do things to the extreme? Well.
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