"Finally, it was time to dress and leave.She drove me back to my Mama Rose's house. We arrived at eleven, an hour after the Tremont had closed."You be good to your Grandma Rose," Martha told me from her car window. "she's so sweet." I'll come to Union Station next Saturday and see you off." You don't have to," she said quietly. "You sure?" I'll be there," I said, winking -- not knowing if I were really up to it, but letting her think I believed I was.She winked back. Unsmiling, she stepped on the gas. She and the car raced down the street and grew smaller. I stood on the curb and watched, wondering what the hell I was going to do.Of all the weeks Martha and I had spent apart, that week of waiting for her departure was the longest that I remember. The only memory I have of that week was of standing in our front yard one sultry afternoon with the cloying humidity hanging in the air as I stared into the vast suburban sameness around me. As in an underexposed, bleached-out still. My mind wondered for what seemed like forever, as I started thinking of the possibilities both positive and negative. As I jolted back to reality I smiled and told Carl, “I would love to.” I left my car in the parking garage as we walked the few blocks to his apartment. As we walked I was holding onto Carl’s arm and was in awe of just how big it was. He obviously worked out and his arms were very muscular and defined. I am not sure if I was so fixated on how muscular his arms were or with the color contrast of our respective skin tones. My mind wondered as I watched my small little white hands hold onto this large muscular black arm. It was turning me on just to see that. Soon we stopped in front of a ten story brick building. “This is my place,” Carl said. We walked into the building and onto the elevator. Carl pushed the tenth floor and the elevator started upward. When we reached his floor the doors opened revealing Carl’s apartment right in front of us. At that moment it hit me.
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