Now fully awake.?Good.? He says and hangs up. I could not have gone back to sleep if I wanted to. The tonein Master?s voice had been very harsh. He did not sound happy at all. Iwondered if I had angered him somehow. But he had been away for two weeksTaking care of the closing on our place in Tennessee. We had only moved toTexas six weeks ago. ?????????? What couldI have done? Had he found out I had not taken proper care of his property bynot going to the hospital voluntarily when I needed to? My mind raced as I gotup and headed to the bathroom for my shower.??? KnowingI had somehow disappointed him crushed me. Master did not usually resort tophysical punishment. He knew how hard I was on myself and how just the tone inhis voice could reduce me to tears. Somehow though I think this was going to bedifferent. I was not sure why. Perhaps it was because of the tone of his voiceand the abrupt way he hung up. But, somehow I just knew I was in for a verysevere punishment. After I completed. What happened?" I couldn't allow the word 'die' to pass my lips."I think he willed it," Mom said. "For the last two months, that's all he talked about. If you hadn't called when you did, I would have called you. He waited to see you and tell you goodbye, then he went to the bedroom and willed himself to die." That's so sad," I said."No, honey, it's not. It's what he wanted the most, and he hung on through sheer will until you came."My feelings were a torrent of conflicting emotions. I was happy I got to see him, and sad he was dead. I was going to miss him very much.I went out to the back yard when the coroner arrived. I was still crying — Jesus, would it ever end? — and I just could not watch somebody handle my father like a piece of meat.I found some solace in the fact that my father didn't inhabit that body anymore; he was gone wherever souls go when they leave their earthly vessel. I hoped he liked his companions.Last night he'd said that no one truly dies until the last person.
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