I had reached the conclusions I needed from the experience and I was never really attracted to Kate anyway. My new found insight and revelation that year took up a lot of my time and then all of a sudden it was summer and the group hugged and said good bye and made plans, if sketchy, for the next semester and summer correspondence. But, I never wrote any letters and none were written to me and I went back to my own boring normality over the summer. It pleased my parents that college hadn’t changed me too much, but they never paid that much attention to my behavior anyway, as long as I stayed out of trouble. I started to feel quite depressed that it had all ended just as I started to get involved. I had felt like I was understood and accepted. I wondered if things would go back to what they were when we all got back together come the beginning of the next semester. But, found myself feeling doubtful and contemplating trying to get into a sorority if it didn’t work out with Lizzi,. This is truly a nightmare. I pinch my penis thinking it might disappear if I cause enough pain and wake from this terrible dream.Instead, a woman’s song emanates from behind the hotel room door startling me from inadequacy’s terror. Expression forlorn, timeless, and without care, the singing mesmerizes me into a trance. With her meandering trills, a siren calls me. I fall into her song.Knock! Knock! Knock! A rapping at the door startles me.Oh, shit! I’m not wearing clothes—and apparently, I’ve gained the ability to use dirty words. Great—vulgar thoughts AND vulgar language swirl about in my new psyche. I feel ashamed. As if on cue, that same vulgar phrase enters my mind, “I need to—”The door opens without warning.Standing in the doorway holding a skeleton key, mouth agape in disbelief, stands a beautiful young woman staring at my exposed rod and balls. A little red blemish on my shaft indicates my pinch. With her eyes trained on my cock and mine staring at her beauty, neither of us.
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