She didn’t tell him her fears anymore, she wouldn’t tell him her problems, or when she wanted to do something dangerous. She wouldn’t tell him her worries. She would talk with him but not about anything really important or about her. She still laughed with him, but her laugh was different, it didn’t have the same life, the same spark. She didn’t want to tell him her struggles anymore. She didn’t want him to worry about her, didn’t want him to know just how far her self-hatred really went. How deeply rooted in her mind it really was. How every time anyone got just a little glimpse of it, they would tell her that she scared them. She couldn’t do that to him…. But she already had…. And she hated herself for that. She had scared him once already, let him see the one mark she had made, the first mark she had made in months. A mark she made because those feelings she tries to hide so deep came clawing back to the surface. Feelings she thought she had locked away for good. But feelings of. I want us to have the weekend that we started. Together, just you and I. That person will not intrude upon us, agreed? " "Agreed. " It doesn''t matter who said what, they both felt the same way. They kissed and Mary followed John back to their bedroom. They fell asleep in each other arms, too emotionally and physically drained for anything other than sleep. Sleep was what they needed most. The next morning Mary woke up, confused about the unusual pain she was feeling in her groin area. She had never felt anything like it before. She untangled herself from John who was still sound asleep and slipped out of bed. When she stood up she realized she needed to use the toilet very badly. She had never awakened with an erection before so it was a very unique experience for her. She stood at the toilet and relieved the pressure. When she was finished she walked to the mirror and gazed at her male face. It seemed strange to see her husband's body reacting to her thoughts. She thought about.
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