It seems everything makes me think of naked women.”The two sat sipping in silence. A little while later, a young man sat down on the other side of the old pilot and asked: “Are you a real pilot?”He replied, “I always thought I was, but I just found out I’m a lesbian.”Forwarded compliments of John A. By Jeff Foxworthy:If plastic water bottles are okay, but plastic bags are banned, — you might live in a nation (state) that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.WE DO LIVE IN SUCH A DUMB COUNTRY!!If you can get arrested for hunting or fishing without a license, but not for entering and remaining in the country illegally — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.If you have to get your parents’ permission to go on a field trip or to take an aspirin in school, but not to get an abortion — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.If you MUST show your identification to board an airplane, cash a check, buy. “Show us your hands or we’ll drop you!”Dominion obeyed, holding his hands out to his sides to show he held nothing, but he didn’t need a weapon. Both men jerked as they felt an invisible force wrap around them, lifting them into the air like puppets on strings. They screamed in terror at this unbelievable experience, but instinct took over and they aimed their rifles at Dominion and opened fire. Their guns exploded in their hands with the firing of the first bullets. Their barrels had been bent and twisted by the same force that bound them, causing a catastrophic jam. Both men were blasted with shrapnel and powder, leaving them peppered with cuts, but alive. It would have been better for them if they weren’t.They turned their attention back to Dominion, and the blood drained from their faces. Something black was pouring from his overcoat like crude oil. It hit the ground but immediately rose back up into the air, floating like the men. The tar-like black mass doubled in size each.
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