“Then my question to you is - why did you shoot your wife and not her lover?” asked the prosecutor. “It seemed easier” replied the defendant “than shooting a different man every day!”My wife came back from work yesterday and yelled at me “All my friends’ husbands have bought an original pink and brown Juicy handbag!” I replied with a wink “Okay love, but tonight you’ll have to provide some pink and brown for me”. I was astonished when she nodded in agreement. I had always dreamt of this moment and it was finally here and, without fail, I went upstairs that night, and was not disappointed. It was just as good as I had ever imagined. My very own snooker table!I’ve organized a charity night in aid of people who can’t reach orgasm, but don’t worry if you can’t come.Vodka and ice will ruin your kidneys. Rum and ice will ruin your liver. Whiskey and ice will ruin your heart. Gin and ice will ruin your brain. Pepsi and ice will ruin your teeth. There you have it ICE is fucking lethal, lay. Coffee cups jumped and sloshed; Mike and Marie smiled. Red faced, Steve scowled and muttered curses under his breath, just clearly enough that Mike and Marie could hear him predicting they'd all be shot full of holes at the next encounter, left to rot in the hot desert sun for the buzzards to pick apart. "White bleached bones scattered in the lava rock," Steve muttered to himself.He glanced up, chagrined at his own outburst. He blushed a deeper red when he noticed Mike and Marie smiling back at him."It's a conundrum, ain't it?" Mike grinned."Damn right it is!" Steve snapped back. He looked to Marie: "Do you have any words of wisdom, young lady?" Don't be a target," she grinned back at him."Hmmmph!" Steve snorted. He forced himself to calm down; to think more clearly. No weapons and don't be a target are pretty much two sides of the same coin."Well, hell, that's it!" he exclaimed. "Pass that blasted coffee pot, will you? Jeezus, you guys, I'm going nuts trying to figure how we're.
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