I would find myself fantasizing aboutbeing the woman in the book and having a man touch me. I wouldfreak out and toss the book down, only to pick it up again aftertaking more beer to the guys. That night, my dream progressed to the point where aghostly woman appeared beside me. I looked at her with longing. Iwanted to look like her. She had large breasts pushing out her bikinitop, her stomach was taunt and her hips flared out so nicely I knewmen would like them. I looked at myself, wearing an identical bikiniand my stomach was a little smaller and my breasts a little bigger.The thought of me with breasts startled me a little, but I began towarm up to the idea. I went to the other doctor and also to the hair removalplace. I also went to a hair restoration clinic. I explained that Iwanted to have a feminine hairline since I would soon be living fulltime as a woman. This was all done in a haze. After a couple of weeks, the changes were beginning toshow and some other things began to. ” It is as if she can see inside my mind. She knows what turns me on. She is perfect, in every way in which I personally define perfection. She’s so perfect. Can someone so exactly mirroring my fantasies be real? She seems real and not real at the same time. Let's back up and start from the beginning. I’ll tell you about my first time with her, the first of many. I was shopping in some generic department store at the mall, surrounded by fluorescent lights, sagging shelves of mid-priced merchandise, tired salesladies, smudged glass counters and all the other markers of a dying breed of commerce made obsolete by the bright clean screens of online shopping. I shop there because it's real, because I like the flaws. I like my flaws. She has no flaws. I didn't see her directly. I saw her from across the room, reflected in a full length mirror in the lingerie department, surrounded by row upon row of silk and lace and fishnet. She had short brown hair with dirty blonde streaks, blue eyes the.
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