He asked, “Why are you crying you have such a nice car?” and the man sobbed, “My wife just went by on roller skates.”Phone Operator: “G’day mate ... Helpline here ... What’s theproblem?”Customer: “I’m in the Outback with the girlfriend and she’s been stungon her thigh by a hornet and now her vagina has completely closed up!”Australian Telephone Operator: “Bummer!”Customer: “Great advice! Thanks mate, bye.”One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very sexy nightie. “Tie me up,” she purred, “and you can do anything you want.” So he tied her up and went golfing.A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and raninto the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of herlungs, “Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!”The husband said, “Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff ormountain stuff?” “Doesn’t matter,” she said. “Just get out.”A guy calls his buddy, the horse rancher, and says he’s sending a friend over to look at a horse. His. I left her room and went back downstairs, shit I couldn't believe it, she had a bloody video, what the hell did she want from me?The next morning soon after my wife had left to drop the k**s at school and go to work Carla came into the kitchen."Hi Tony, here are some stockings and sexy pants for you. I want you to wear them and nothing else and come to my room at one this afternoon, ok?"I replied ok, but it was far from ok with me. What the hell was she up to? The tape really worried me so I knew I would have to do as she said.1pm came too soon for me, but there I was knocking on her door wearing her crotchless panties and stockings and a huge hard on pointing up my stomach.She opened the door and said "Hi Tony come in, you sure look cute dressed like that and I love your cock."I said thanks and she told me to sit on the edge of the bed.Then she started to put the blindfold on me while talking to me."If you do exactly what I ask Tony you don't need to worry about the tape, and anyway.
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